Does a cocktail Breaks your Masculinity?

As a bartender, I feel proud of every one of my creations, especially as an artist. To me, a cocktail isn’t just about the ingredients; it’s also about the presentation. Every glass has a purpose. Every garnish, rim, and finishing touch is part of the experience. That’s why it really frustrates me whenever I see a guy’s masculinity shatter because his cocktail is served in the “wrong” glass or comes with a strawberry on the rim. Are you really that fragile? A real man doesn’t come out of the closet because of his cocktail.

I really don’t think the way you dress or what you choose to eat and drink makes you less of a man. But during the past four years of living in Houston, I’ve experienced a bit of a cultural shock. Apparently, certain clothes, drinks, and even meals get labeled as “gay.” Not for me. I dress the way I want, and I eat and drink whatever I enjoy.

When I first moved in with my Dominican grandmother in the Bronx, she had a heavy hand in the kitchen. She never discriminated when serving food. I’m exaggerating, but every plate felt like it weighed at least ten pounds. I also remember her saying that a man eats a lot of food. To be fair, there is some truth to that. Men generally eat more than women, and after years of working in restaurants, I’ve noticed it too. In my own experience, many women don’t finish their meals and usually drink less than men. Our bodies are different, so it makes sense that our appetites often are too.

What interests me, though, is how a simple observation can turn into a cultural expectation.

That’s where I think we get it wrong. Somewhere along the way, people came up with the idea of “chick food” to describe lighter meals like salads, wraps, or yogurt. I’ve only heard the term a handful of times, but the mentality behind it still exists. Somehow, choosing a healthy meal can be seen as a threat to your masculinity. That’s ridiculous. If anything, taking care of your body should be something to be proud of. Yet there are still men who feel embarrassed ordering a salad because they think it doesn’t look masculine enough.

Now, cocktails.

I can hear my intensity coming through in this article, but this is something that genuinely drives me crazy.

I recently came across a reel claiming that martinis are for women and Manhattans are for men. To be more specific, they called the Manhattan “the man’s martini.” The funny thing is that I love Manhattans. They’re one of my favorite cocktails. But I honestly don’t understand the point. Some of my straight regulars order dirty martinis or vodka martinis without giving it a second thought.

Then there’s James Bond. One of the most iconic symbols of masculinity for generations helped turn the martini into one of the most famous cocktails in the world. He wore tailored suits, drove incredible cars, and always seemed to leave with the most beautiful woman in the room. So if James Bond is somehow gay for drinking martinis, then I want to be that kind of gay. And, of course, we all know how he orders his vodka martini: shaken, not stirred.

There’s one last thing I want to get off my chest.

This isn’t me being angry anymore. It’s simply advice.

Life is too short to spend it worrying about what other people think of you. There are too many amazing things to experience before we end up in the ground. So if your piña colada comes with a tiny umbrella, just drink it. The umbrella is there because it’s a tropical cocktail, not because it says anything about your sexuality.

Let’s leave those childish ideas behind. Growing up also means becoming comfortable with who you are as an individual. The more open-minded you become, the more you’ll enjoy life, because you’ll allow yourself to experience things you might otherwise have avoided.

And whatever you do, please don’t ask the bartender to change your cocktail because it isn’t masculine enough.